Sol'sora

31. Welcome to the Safetydome

Betha returns at sundown, the familiar whooshing sound waking us from our AU dream. It’s been two days for her, doing paperwork in the Feywild because Morthred’s gone missing and the line of succession needs updating.

We can all remember the dream, and eventually determine that it was semi-divine in nature and was specifically given to us, although we don’t know from whom.

Ondy’s still out on the town, and Remi sends a Sending after him. We discuss the dream while we wait; Fen has some vague ideas about where Party Island might be located off the northwest coast, and also Arctus was at the party! He had a shiny thing around his neck, never moved from one spot, and looked charmed to hell and not in the good way. Ondy texts back: It’s only been three hours on the Celestial plane, but he’s on his way back.

The watches go fairly uneventfully for the most part; the second watch, Kaiva and Yannic, hash out the whole Kean situation, and Yannic ignores a smudge of movement on the horizon. Third watch, Remi and Fen, notice that the smudge is in fact two dragons – one is gold (not Bob though), the other bronze, and while they’re smaller than the rest of the dragons we’ve encountered, they’re still fuck-off big. Remi makes bread for the guests.

Gorloris is gathering the remaining Banishers to a place a couple miles to the north, in preparation for a big strike against The Enemy and putting the barriers back up. Our party would really love to help, really we would, except half of us have to wash our hair and the other half of us have to help their grandmother stop being on fire, really sorry! Eventually the dragons leave and promise to come back later to pick us up. Also, they have an egg.

We head to the Tower as a potentially defensible place to wait for Ondy, and spot the meeting place on the horizon, north and a smidge west. Ondy finally teleports back in, and Kean, upon hearing what has happened, texts Yannic a teleport symbol, old and unrecognized by the party.

After a brief detour in the alchemy lab involving Yannic, a light spell, and a pot of boiling acid, we go shopping in Remi’s dad’s closet and head off to parts unknown.

The town we end up is about 300 years and very abandoned, although we find and hole up in a house that is significantly younger in terms of abandonment. There’s a big castle that used to be a temple to smaller local deities (with inscriptions in Undercommon), and the town is called Keyberry Ford. Also, as soon as we’re within the wall surrounding the town, a barrier goes up and seals us in. Yannic begins sending very very angry texts to a suspiciously silent Kean.

Betha calls Sivoreen (accidentally sending her splatting against the top of the dome), who says that she can’t get them out, only Kean or Keanvari can. Knowing he has Kean’s magic, Yannic manages to dispel a 30ft circle of barrier for twelve seconds, proving that we could get out if we need to.

We don’t need to, as it turns out, because at 5:30pm Andra teleports in, dragging her brother by the ear, and makes him drop the barrier. Kean tries to straight-up flee, but is knocked out by a clutch Sleep spell from Remi, who is nearly as pissed as his BFF about Kean’s treatment of said BFF.

While Yannic tries to talk about trust and betrayal and boundaries over Kean’s Apology Cooking (Kaiva as angry chaperone), Andra drops some knowledge about their hometown. The temple/castle/temple again was to Callum the Hungry God. She and Remi chat about the Awkward Boys – apparently Kean has a diary full of horrid love letters to Yannic that he never sent. Curtains down on this sweet scene, and, across town, on Kean creating food because he’s too bad at apologizing with words.

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30. Dream Works

Good morning starshines! The earth says hello! Especially to Kaiva and Fen who are Hung Over when everyone wakes up. Drink responsibly, kids. Kean comes down and starts making breakfast. A lot of breakfast. Like, an insane amount of breakfast. He enlists Remi to make bread for this Breakfast Extravaganza. Andra says that this is a bad sign; he cooks as an apology.

Eventually All the Food is done cooking, people eat, and Kean and Yannic have a heartwrenching conversation outside. Apparently Keanvari wants them to take their relationship to the next level because should he die, he’ll immediately wake up in his Horcrux, Kean, and killing Yannic to get his powers back will be so much easier if Yannic’s nearby at the time. Kean has to stay away, for Yannic’s Own Good. A lot of crying happens, and some hugging, and the Clone Twins depart.

We all sit around, waiting for Betha to reappear, until the afternoon. Seru goes to visit Lone Wolf, who’s doing arts and crafts to make (hopefully) a magical staff. Seru helps her by doing magic for an hour, and then goes back to the tavern.

At around 4:30pm, everyone takes a nap and has the same dream. We dream that we managed to save the world on Banfey and have been summoned to Gathering to be thanked by Gorloris. Upon seeing him, Seru feels an odd urge and, giving in, socks that dude right in the face, making his elfin wife laugh a lot. Gorloris asks what we want as a reward for saving the world.

Fen asks to be unpoisoned, which takes the Gathering healers a lot longer to accomplish than it took Andraki’s underlings back in the darkest timeline. Yannic asks to learn some more magic, and Mrs. G. tries to teach him, until realizing that the reason his magic isn’t working awesomely is that his power comes from Kean(/vari), at which point Gorloris offers to be Yannic’s patron instead. Seru is content with her violence. Kaiva asks for a few small paltry things, like a couple sets of giant statues of her and Seru, a huge party, and so on.

Eventually Gorloris reveals that he has a request to make of us in turn. His son (whose name your dear summarizer did not get down) has been missing for 10 years after being kidnapped while drunk at his birthday party, and shortly after the failed Banfey rebellion, they got a ransom note. Apparently he’s being held on an island. He could be in one of two forms: a part-elf young man, or a big ol’ platinum dragon like his father.

Other things we learn: The Traveling Gazebo apparently belongs to Mrs. G., who offers it to us to find the island in question; and if we find Prince Arthur he can bring us back, and if he’s dead, his body will bring us back to Gathering.

At this point the campaign devolved into the party trying to decide between about eight different things to do for the rest of the dream, and I logged off for the night.

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29. Other Than The Death Threats, It's Been Fine

The food is getting cleared away, y’all. It’s time to get buckwild.

In a stunning feat of memory, Remi realizes that he’s sen Milktoast before, and not just in the Lady of Learning’s trial. Apparently “Eric Bridger,” aka Milktoast, has been a servant at nearly ever fancy rich-person party that Remi’s ever been to, going back possibly 10 years. And he’s never aged a day.

Yannic’s mission, if you’ll recall, is to get Andraki away from the Twister mat and back to Keavnvari’s side. This is accomplished by Seru talking to Kaiva and convincing her to convince Andraki that it’s time to go. Kaiva gives Andraki a piggyback ride over to the other pavilion where Keanvari is waiting (Betha and Remi splitting off to stay within 500 feet of Morgaine).

Over in Morgaine’s tent, Dossana approaches Remi. Apparently she’s been told that he’s the guy to talk to in order to make the world safer and more orderly? He’s the man with an infinite army. Remi is confused.

Kaiva deposits Andraki with her brother and the two of them start to have a private conversation that Fen shamelessly eavesdrops on. Apparently the Hot Topic Twins are waiting for a dragon to come to the party. Armed with this knowledge, Seru goes to fill in Betha and Remi.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Sivoreen and Betha have a chat about Onrubia’s speech and the events of the party. Sivoreen says that Betha can take her sweet time visiting Morgaine; the Feywild isn’t the safest place to be these days. Also, if the party wasn’t given dance cards, they can probably go at any time.

Taking this to heart, the party tries to gather to leave. While this is happening, Keanvari quizzes Yannic on why the party’s happening. The correct answers? 1) It’s a party. 2) It’s a very very obvious trap 3) Those people who fall for the trap are people Keanvari very much wants to see eaten by a dragon. He tells Yannic he can go.

Except not really, because while they’re all trying to leave, Yannic gets stopped 500 feet from Keanvari. Whoops. In an attempt to fulfill her prime directive (and forgetting that her prime directive has been changed for this one night), Seru steps to Keanvari, who gets annoyed with her, which makes her stubborn, which gets her zapped. Kaiva and Fen, who’ve been dancing this whole time, dance-battle their way out of the pavilion and into the garden with the rest of the party

While the party rests, they notice the starts start winking out. Fast. Yannic checks his texts for the first time that night, realizes Kean thinks he can get them safely out, and they take him up on it.

Before Kean can get there, the Hot Topic Twins start booking it for the exit. The party, thus free to do the same, book it for the exit. They find the Twins crouching in front of a terrified-looking Frankenstein’s monster. The Clone Twins are standing nearby.

We get our stuff and the Hot Topic Twins teleport away with the undead creature. The Clone Twins teleport us home, and tell us that the Frankenstein’s monster is Callum the Hungry God, and the HTTs have gone to torture him for fun.

Back in the tavern, Kean and Yannic have an awkward chat, ending in an agreement to meet up the next day and talk about how much time they want to spend together. Yannic goes downstairs and chats with Remi about Remi’s nightmares about seeing his grandmother die. This heartwarming tale is interrupted by Andraclone marching downstairs, walking up to Yannic, and saying, “He was trying to ask you out.”

Yannic, furious that Kean didn’t use actual words to do that but also steadfastly refusing to use his own words, blusters for a bit and has more Bro Time with Remi, Ondy being off somewhere fighting for freedom. The party settles down into watches, and aside from a series of flashes of light coming from Wolfy’s house, the night passes quietly. Dawn comes and brings with it messengers from the fey, come to take Betha to the Feywild. She goes. Curtain drops.

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28. The Three Genders Are Male, Female, And Dead

The watches pass relatively uneventfully, the only peaceful part of the next – well. You’ll see. Lone Wolf is wandering about town, poking at the brush and looking for her weapon. At dawn, the now-familiar warping noise hits again, and there’s a new note Martin Luthered to the door of the tavern, for Betha. Sivoreen drew her a family tree!

The party putters about for the morning: Remi makes bread, Kaiva creeps on Lone Wolf, and Betha calls Sivoreen for advice and gets a dress as well! Sivoreen’s advice includes the fact that we will be unarmed before going into the party – magic as well as weapons. On the upside, so will most everyone else (the exceptions being the gods, so Morgaine, Andraki, and Keanvari will have their magic).

After the bread and the news, Remi goes to talk his sulking golden boyfriend out of gatecrashing. Eventually they agree that Ondelin will go be a freedom fighter during the party, and then there’s forehead kissing and then mouth kissing. Remi gives Ondy a scarf, sending Ondy into a chivalrous panic that ends with him tearing a scrap off his shirt for Remi to keep. Ah, true love.

Seru finally manages to get ahold of Knargun and ask if he has any instructions; he says her primary paladin duty is to walk out of the party alive at the end of it. Also, there will be another dwarf champion there, but he doesn’t know who or for which god.

At 4pm the tailor arrives to outfit us, and we all promptly fall in love with him. His name is Jacques, he is a tall purple elf dude, and he is perfect, and perfectly unimpressed with anything we do. We stash our weapons in Tana’s saddlebags, and then Jacques, the Tailor of the Gods, takes us to the party at long last.

The first step to any good party is completely ruining the evenings, or at least the hours, of the staff, and we proceed to do just that. They try to take Betha’s magic away, but it turns out she needs that to live, so they have to put it back, and she has to stay within 500 feet of Morgaine at all times. Remi’s magic goes, but then a bunch of souls come out of his ring and cover his arm, and the poor steward lets him keep those. Yannic’s magic just roars when the steward tries to remove it (Yannic gets to keep the magic, and also is supposed to stay near Keanvari). Fen’s magic comes out as a vine, and Seru’s comes out as a little ball. Seru then proceeds to ruin the next guy’s hour by insisting on keeping her armor and shield, as they’re religious garb. She also has to stay within 500 feet of a god. Seru keeps the key for the magic, Remi keeps the key for the weaponry.

The party splits up in the short-lived buddy system groups, but it quickly becomes clear that the tents they were originally sent to are abandoned, and everyone’s in the main party tent. Present as part of the crowd are the people we remember seeing during Kaiva’s trial. We learn that the celestial woman’s name is Onrubia, and Milktoast’s legal name is Eric Bridger.

In a moment of prime awkwardness, our merry band of people who hate the Council are invited onstage to be acknowledged. Everyone is thanked very sarcastically for their aid in the recent events, with the exception of Yannic (who gets skipped) and Seru (who gets thanked sincerely).

After the Gauntlet of Mockery is over, the party splits up, buddy system groups be damned. Fen and Andraki go for a walk in the gardens (during which Andraki tells Fen that the Scion of the Forest is like the Ultimate Ranger to Range All Ranges) and then come back inside to play Drunk Twister with Kaiva and Morthred and a bunch of other drunk anarchists. Betha takes the book back to Morgaine and has a lovely chat with her grandmother, in which she is instructed to visit her in the Feywild (the Morgaine we’re dealing with now is actually a possessed vessel) and then dismissed – she goes to watch the Drunk Twister shenans.

Remi and Seru stick to Yannic like glue, as Keanvari reminds Yannic that Kean is, in fact, created from Keanvari’s own toe, and that sort of evil toe jam doesn’t wash off. He also says that Yannic had better start being useful to Keanvari, or Keanvari’ll take back the magic his toe gave him. First job: Get him a drink. Second job: Get Andraki off the Twister mat.

After a while, it becomes clear that, while Keanvari is a terrifying terrifying person who hates Yannic, he’s not going to kill him right then and there, and Seru slips away to track down and talk to the other dwarf champion. They have a conversation about trying to keep people alive who insist on getting smashed at anarchist parties, and then show each other their holy symbols. This other dwarf is a champion for Harmur the Tyrant! What a mood killer. Except not as much as Seru thought, because she managed to find some more mood that got killed when the other dwarf introduces herself as Dossana. Klaxons blaring, Seru excuses herself and goes back to bodyguard duty.

Tune in next week to see who lives, who dies, who hooks up, and who has the mother of all hangovers in the morning.

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27. Hello! We Have...Friend!

We open on Fen doing a kegstand, with an assist from Kaiva. The shindig continues on in that vein, with Remi and Yannic drinking and Kaiva doing acrobatics. However, before anyone invents the game of Spin the Bottle, Remi hears a warping noise from outside and sees a smallish person stealing into a house.

The party wakes Seru from her nap and take some bread over to investigate their new neighbor, but they can’t find them! The house is empty and picked-over, and Fen runs back to the tavern to guard her gains of doubtful provenance. Eventually they find the creature, a small blue critter easily put to magical sleep by Remi. Seru tells everyone not to wake her up unless someone’s dying again and goes to sleep right the hell outside in the street.

The remaining party members figure out that this is a Quickling, a small fey used as a gofer for more powerful fey. Kaiva steals a tin from the Quickling’s clothing and they wake her up (after tying her up). She claims she was just doing her job, she’s already behind schedule, and has anyone seen her rent money??? They feed her bread (and eventually a reluctant Kaiva hands over the tin with the money), and upon hearing that the Quickling is looking for magical artifacts, the group sends her Wolf-ward.

After a period of time, Lone Wolf herself, in all her solitary rage, comes storming over to the tavern. Someone has STOLEN from her, and she will not stand for it! She starts erecting a barrier. The party (sans Seru and Fen) have a Circuitous Discussion about what they should do, given that they sent the Quickling to Wolfy in the first place and Wolfy seems ready to murder a blue bitch. Wolf tells them that the weapon was a commission that hasn’t been paid in full, and it’s essentially a proto-Planar Blade.

After a Roof-Climbing Adventure that goes very badly for all involved, more or less, and waking Seru up, the party troops over to referee the throwdown. Dusk comes, a puffy parcel gets dropped at Betha’s feet, and a giant net falls from the sky, trapping the Quickling who delivered it. Wolfy gets straight to the interrogation.

Eventually, it is revealed that the Quickling works for the Council of Planar Freedom, and has already delivered the proto-Planar Blade to the man with six fingers on his right hand. We manage to talk Wolfy down from her rage and she reluctantly lets the Quickling go. We retire for the night, discovering that the parcel is an order form for fancy party clothes.

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26. Some Goddamn Elizabeth Bathory Dorian Gray-Ass Ruin of Xerxes Bullshit

The party enters the tower, ready for a nice enjoyable day of wholesome family fun. They hear movement from a bedroom on the second floor and head upstairs! Betha reads its mind – it’s hungry and in agony and confused and despairing. After a very long and circuitous discussion, the party opens the door and yeah, it’s another Intelligent Zombie, and it wants a piece of Seru.

What follows is a round robin of Persuasion checks and attacks, until finally Betha gets it to say that it blames Seru because “it has to be SOMEONE’S fault!!!” Feeling the weight of the world fly off her shoulders, Seru whoops in relief and explodes the poor zombie with radiant damage.

Next, they hear something on the roof! Grabbing Fen (who spent the whole fight in the kitchen with a sandwich), they head up, stopping in the library on the way. Yannic wants a map, since knowledge of the world they live in is not this party’s strong suit. Kaiva, in an attempt to help, picks up a book that promptly offers her a chance to learn a secret in a game of chance. The secret is upstairs, she learns, and the code is 4223. Before this can be acted upon, however, Yannic also touches the book and we’re in Freaky Friday town, folks. Yannic and Kaiva have swapped bodies. Also, the book is stuck to Kaiva’s hand (which means it’s stuck to Yannic’s hand but Kaiva’s in the driver’s seat).

The book, the Book of Deepest Secrets, used to belong to Morgaine and really wants to fuck up all of Theminor’s (Remi’s dad) shit for stealing it from her. It also says it will swap them back for another secret.

Finally, the group decides to just see this whole adventure through to the end, and head upstairs. There’s a gate in front of Theminor’s room, which 4223 opens, and a secret compartment in the fireplace that wants blood before it can open. Remi feeds it, and everyone (sans Fen, who stays to jump on Theminor’s bed) files into the hallway beyond.

The hallway is lined with creepy portraits, of half-elf half-[insert race here] people, all looking vaguely shocked and horrified. In front of each portrait is an empty pedestal, some of which have diamond dust still on them. Seru checks the stonework and realizes that everything – the paintings, the stonework, everything – is, as it says in my notes, old as ballsacks, and also the stone is from way the hell south and shouldn’t be here.

Remi deduces that his dad was fathering children, trapping them in jewels, then killing them and siphoning their life force to extend his own. The book is elated that they’ve worked it out, tells them to tell EVERYONE, and then swaps Kaiva and Yannic back after they each give it a secret. Kaiva carefully wraps the book up without touching it (first with the Friendship Rope, and then Theminor’s bedspread) to try and curry favor with Morgaine, we collect Fen, and troops back to the tavern. The party settles in to cope with their new knowledge (Seru falls asleep). Time: 2pm.

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25. In Which Nothing Of Any Real Importance or Excitement Happens, No Way, No How

It’s 2AM and we are just settling in for some watches! Seru’s guest-starring in every watch while she waits for Alka to return, and notices that the tower is less ominously dark. During the second watch, Remi sees something indistinct slither around the ground outside, come in through the window, and head upstairs into Betha’s room. Seru and Remi wake Kaiva and Yannic, and pursue.

It’s illusion magic, and it ducks into Betha’s room and then back out the window, leaving a note on her bedside table. Back downstairs, Seru sees a flash of blue light around the corner and she and Remi go to investigate. There’s nothing there, but what there is, is a bunch of papers stuck to the outside of the door. The party invites have arrived.

Everyone gets one (Fen brings hers into her blanket cave and avoids the ensuing discussion); everyone is requested to attend, but someone crossed that out on Yannic’s and wrote “demanded” instead. Yannic wakes Kean up.

It takes a couple cups of illicit coffee, but eventually our resident nerd becomes coherent enough to express his concern over the invites and his deep, deep wish for at least Yannic not to go. As is becoming tradition with this group, we have a long, fruitless conversation that ends with no decision, and Betha fucking off to go call Sivoreen. Sivoreen very much wants Betha at the party and also very much was not actually present during Betha’s trial. And also if Betha dies, she’ll become fully fey. So there’s that.

Eventually they “decide” to go to the party – I say “decide” because it is strongly implied that they will be carried there by force if need be. We finish up the watches, Fen drawing a mustache on the sleeping Kaiva’s face in coffee grounds, and then during Kaiva’s watch there’s a big-ass lightning storm in the teleportation circle, and our golden boy has returned.

He sees Remi sleeping, assumes the worst, and starts casting Raise Dead, thus setting the rest of the day into motion. Remi wakes up, they embrace, and then make out for a while and cuddle, interrupted only long enough for Ondelin to punch Seru twice in the face.

Because of Ondelin’s inability to check for a pulse, he can’t raise Andraki-lite that day, and Kean can’t wait. So Kean whips out the friggin Needle and says he’s just gonna die for like six seconds and then Ondy will Revivify him and everything will be fine, everyone just take a breath.

Yannic objects in the strongest possible terms to this plan, so while Yannic’s in the kitchen with Remi and Betha while the plebs bake bread, Kean offers Fen a diamond worth 25K to die for six seconds.

Kean pops Andraclone out of the diamond, gives it secretly to Fen, Fen stabs herself and the corpse with the Needle, and then dies. While Ondy revives her, the sky turns black, a huge portal opens up outside the tavern, Kean takes his alive-again sister Somewhere Else, and some huge hyenafolk and a tiny frog emerge from the portal.

Fen manages to talk Andraki down and tells her Kean has the Needle now, and the Evil Animal Posse leave without bloodshed. Seru tries to have a conversation with Fen about waking Seru up if someone needs to die, however temporarily (it goes poorly), and then tries to have a conversation with Yannic about next steps (it goes poorly), and then snaps and drags everyone to the now-less-imposing tower for the worst Family Day ever. Drop curtain.

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24. Bread In This Trying Time

The watches in the tavern pass relatively uneventfully, aside from Lone Wolf making plays for Kaiva’s Planar Blade. Betha feels a magical presence watching them, but other than that, nothing happens.

At dawn, a huge column of red light beams down and hits something to the northwest of us, lasting for about 30 seconds. The party then has one of their least fruitful conversations about what the hell to do now, interrupted by Kean teleporting in, exhausted, soaking wet, and clutching a diamond.

It is revealed that he did, in fact, find his sister, except she was dead in a river and now she’s in the diamond. Kean makes Remi scry on Ondelin, and apparently he’s still in the mountains to the southwest, trying to foment a revolution of celestials (these friends are shiny blue! and the mountains are snowy, which is odd because they weren’t when we were there).

Kean confirms that the light was the last Tower falling, and proceeds to pass the hell out because he did an insane amount of magic in the last twenty minutes.

Seru, feeling guilty for how much of a dick she was to this grieving brother when he arrived, goes outside and commits herself to a path that she 100% did not think through; she wakes up her Planar Blade, names it Alka, turns it into a big golden crow, and sends it after Ondelin. Alka is to tell him that he needs to hurry, something’s happened and they need a healer. Oops. Also apparently he can’t teleport, which Seru didn’t know. Double oops. And now she’s stuck for 24 hours until Alka gets back. Triple oops.

Remi bakes bread, since apparently no one can go anywhere until the next morning. It’s the best goddamn bread anyone’s ever had, and Tiny gorges on it until he is a very small round gecko ball. Lone Wolf keeps trying for one of the Planar Blades, and eventually Kaiva calls a council of everyone not trapped on the ground via magical bird problems.

Kaiva can’t activate it, but Remi can make contact. It is a Mist Blade, and it is DETERMINED that he name it. Unfortunately, it times out before any naming happens. The group decides to wait on the Mist Blade until they have a better plan for how to deal with it.

Kean wakes up, and sends Lone Wolf into a screaming terror by appearing downstairs. Kaiva badgers him into talking, and he reveals that the light column was the Material Plane breaking. Callum the Hungry God eats people to absorb their power. The Gecko Queen is Nimueh, one of the other two people on the List with Morthred. Also, Morthred is Sivoreen’s dad, and ever since Betha and Sivoreen became blood-sisters, Betha is fey royalty now. Also, apparently Gorloris is doing guerilla warfare Somewhere.

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23. Pants Off In Front of a Fire

At sunrise (5:45am), we walk. Through wheat. For hours. We’re not alone, though! There’s a stream of geckos walking parallel to us in the wheat.

Eventually, Fen peels off to go to the bathroom. And doesn’t come back. For an hour. Also there’s smoke. Eventually we go after her and find her crouched over a smoldering fire pit, pants down. She was trying to summon Andraki as a familiar, but gets a normal frog instead, and we all go on our merry way. Except Fen forgot about the fire.

FINALLY, four hours after we discover the resulting blaze, Betha puts it out all by her tiny lonesome and sleeps the sleep of the righteous firefighter on Tana’s back. Kaiva ties herself to Fen to avoid further Incidents.

They keep walking, and are quickly approached by someone running flat-out towards where the fire had been. We convince her that the fire’s out for really serious and she collapses in exhaustion for a bit.

She is a very pale person, with visible veins and elf ears, and her name is Lone Wolf. Wolf for short. Wolf travels with them back towards Wheatfield, and so do the geckos.

Finally Seru uses magic to talk to the geckos, because she can. She makes friends with one gecko, who tells her they were sent to watch us by a woman in blue who likes knowing things. The gecko, Tiny, promptly joins the party, climbing all over everyone and generally having the time of his little gecko life.

Wolf casts Tiny Hut and the party troops inside for some rest. Remi sees something big fly overhead and talks about nightmares with Yannic. Later, Fen sees someone walking towards them, finally untethers herself from Kaiva, and goes to investigate. Long story short, she’s the Queen of the Geckos, similar to Morthred in aura, and she tells us about a party in four days that we’re invited to. Dress nice!

Tiny stays with us, and in the morning we make it to Wheatfield, a cloud forming over Gathering. Wolf goes a-looting, we go to the tower and then quickly realize what a HORRIBLE IDEA that is (or some of us do, anyway), and we go get crunk in the tavern instead. Also we learn about Planar Blades, but your fair summarizer was having an anxiety attack and didn’t take notes on that part.

Next up: A series of incredibly terrible decisions.

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22. 28 Cabbages Later

The party books it out of the study as soon as the curtain goes up. It’s roughly 6pm the next evening, and Fen has a huge stack of cabbages she’s counting. She has 28 cabbages. Twenty-eight cabbages. That’s as many as four sevens, and that’s terrible. So Seru feeds one to Tana, and now the total is 27.

Kean, while very happy everyone’s alive, has ants in his pants and needs to go. The party packs up the cabbages and head back to their transport; Kean teaches Yannic and Betha how to ‘zebo on the way. Yannic gives Kean an earring, so Kean can teleport more accurately and not have to walk through a million miles of wheat.

Which is what we’re doing. We decide to head back to Wheatfield, both to see if the people in Remi’s dad’s tower still need help, and to use a teleportation circle to get into Gathering to undo the time-stop (the ’zebo only goes to Gorloris’ palace, which we assume is a particularly fiery hellscape at this point). The plan is to teleport to the University, which is a) probably safe, and b) the workplace of the Grand Megas Stygia.

I say ’we’ – we’re down one golden boy, sadly. Ondelin peaces out just before the ’zebo heads back to Wheatfield, leaving everyone confused and Remi heartbroken.

There’s no more green light at the tower, the party notices as they walk, and then they notice nothing but wheat until they’re back at the set for the CSI: Sol’sora special. The party decides to camp out in the house for some form of shelter. The first watch passes uneventfully, and then a big fuck-off hellhound starts pacing the house and then busts through the door.

It’s no match for this traumatized bunch of unlikely heroes, though, and we dispatch it without too much issue. The body is HOT, being a hellhound, and those who know how drag it to the middle of the road and Banish it. As the watches continue, Yannic sees someone walk down the path, stop at the Banishing point, and keep going, but otherwise the night is uneventful until sunrise.

Next up: More wheat.

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