Bitchslapped by a God

There are a whole lot of Andraki’s folk outside: hyenas, hyenapeople, and a large white once-a-hyena creature that has a scorpion tail and dripping pointy teeth. The hyenapeople batter at the door of the tower, to no avail. The party tries to convince Fen to get into the tower after testing to see whether living creatures can pass through the arrowslit windows. Fen argues that they’ll have to bring her in by force. As the party talks through the plan with Fen, Remi notices that there’s a flock of birds fast approaching.


Then, the scorpion-hyena rushes towards the tower, and Remi and Fen spot the tiny green frog riding the creature. Remi quickly polymorphs Fen into a hummingbird as the scorpion-hyena starts scaling the tower. Betha tries some offensive magic on the creature, but it makes it close enough to the first window for the Andraki-frog to hop onto the windowsill, at which point Remi uses the Rod of Security to transport everyone inside the tower (except Andraki) to a paradisiacal version of the Therris estate.

Outside in the forest, Fen hides from the approaching birds. Andraki shouts as the birds swarm. One of the birds, a crow, finds and screams at Fen. In response, Fen flies onto its head to groom it. The bird suffers this indignity, and then all the birds stop flying and land wherever is closest.

In paradise, a crack appears several feet from Remi, and Andraki pushes through, in her divine form. Her skin is spotted, and she sports a pair of curled horns and a tail. After Betha fails to banish the demon goddess, Andraki draws her bow on Yannic, who asks, “What can we do for you?” Andraki has no reply and no humor in her expression, for once. Kaiva pulls out the glass sword, which is humming, and hesitantly steps toward Andraki.


Betha casts Detect Thoughts on Andraki, and overhears a telepathic conversation between the twins. Andraki wants to kill everyone, and Keanvari would rather Yannic didn’t die. The goddess shoots Yannic’s right hand off with a bolt of painless black crackling energy, leaving a cauterized stump. The black staff he’d been holding falls to the ground, and Yannic screams.

Meanwhile, Fen continues to groom Keanvari’s crow self, and she hears him say, “I can be patient.” The birds fly off, and Fen attempts to get Keanvari to follow her to Bob’s house. He doesn’t.


Yannic yells at Andraki, “You could have asked!!!” and Kaiva rushes towards Andraki, landing a blow on the goddess using Lord (Loch) Kasdall’s Blade. Betha overhears the twins agreeing to back off at the same time before Detect Thoughts ends. Andraki puts away her bow, slaps Kaiva, and leaves the way she came, leaving the crack hanging in midair.

Fen sees the bird on whose head she’d been sitting fly towards the tower, and she follows. The tower has a massive singe mark on the wall, and there’s a black crackling crack in the air, out of which a frog hops. The frog and bird begin to argue for some long minutes, and Fen eavesdrops.

From inside paradise, Betha watches the twins gesticulate angrily, and then there’s a flash of silver. The tower and its clearing have moved, and the twins along with it. The hyenapeople went with the tower’s clearing, and Fen, convinced everyone else is dead, tries to head for Bob’s house.

Those in paradise decide that it’s best to stay in the space created by the Rod of Security for at least the length of a long rest, so they set up watches. Remi and Yannic sit on watch together, and Yannic scrawls a note to Kean.

After being lost for a good hour, Fen reverts to her halfling form. She confers with a tree about the tower and her location, and then heads towards town by way of Bob’s house, to see if she can intercept Bob on his way home.

During the second watch, a pebble flies through the crack in paradise, hitting both Kaiva and Betha in the face. Betha pokes her head through the crack and sees a crow who offers her an envelope addressed to Yannic. She tells the crow she’s not going to wake Yannic up for him, but she takes the envelope. The crow leaves, slowly. Kaiva unsuccessfully tries to convince Betha they should open the letter before handing it to Yannic.


In the forest, Fen has encountered Bob, and she explains the situation. The two walk back towards Bob’s home, drinking heavily from the bottles of alcohol Bob’s carrying in a large sack.

Upon waking, Remi goes in search of an oven, and he bakes up some beautiful bread. Betha hands Yannic the letter, and he reads it after breakfast. The letter is a formal apology from Keanvari for Yannic’s loss of a hand. He is offering to transport Yannic to Hell at midnight, so he can replace Yannic’s hand.

When Bob and Fen approach Bob’s house just before sundown, Bob stops just before entering the clearing. Andraki’s creatures are all over, so Fen and Bob hide among the trees for a while, drinking and waiting for sundown. Finally, Fen helps Bob sneak through part of the clearing so he can get to his house to hide the Last Laugh. Fen settles down for a nap in the leaves, hiding in plain sight.


shannon_m_allred Millie

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